dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize