I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize