is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
