When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
My penis needs a shock collar
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Randomize
