And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Don't EVER smell your tampon
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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