Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize