your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
