I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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