I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
