whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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