He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
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