ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
