i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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