People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
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