You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
