He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize