i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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