If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
