I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Randomize