we're blogging at a bar
My hand turned me down
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
