OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
