Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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