she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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