I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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