I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I'm sobbing to NWA
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
