I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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