He asked me if I "almost moaned"
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Randomize
