every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize