At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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