so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
