whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
My bed is full of blood and feathers
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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