atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
