remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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