I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
We don't watch enough power rangers
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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