Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
