i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
