yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
