its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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