dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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