I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
