So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
