You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
