Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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