apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
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