I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
