VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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