This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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