Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
