I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
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