Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
bring money and cleavage
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
