didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Randomize
