Duck Duck Cougar?
We named our party play list daddy issues
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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