check it out our google latitudes are spooning
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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