okay pat passed out under dana's car
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
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