Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
