We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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