woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
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