no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
