You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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