He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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