also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
