i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
