What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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