i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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