dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
