Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
