I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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